Sunday, January 20, 2008

You're looking at a ghost.

I am having trouble writing anything. I’m convinced it’s because I don’t like myself very much right now. I don’t like what I’ve done recently. I don’t like the state in which I’ve left my life and that I have no one to blame but myself. I don’t like that I don’t understand the whys surrounding all of this. And I don’t like that I don’t have the guts to explore that disorientation more.

I am too afraid I’ll find more I fear and more I hate.

This, along with my recent actions, is uncharacteristic, which only inspires more confusion and disgust. It’s amazing how quickly you can turn yourself into a stranger.

1 comment:

Rambler said...

You have to use all that in your writing. Doesn't mean you have to spill your guts on specifics, but the pain and confusion your feeling is what you need to find an outlet for and this is where to do it.